Mixed emotions...as if postpartum hormones weren't enough...

Time flies...it seems like yesterday that Alyssa was 3 weeks old like Blakely is now. Where did the last 3 1/2 years go? I guess I'm feeling a little sad because Mrs. Hannah, Alyssa's new preschool teacher, called yesterday to set up a time for us to meet her and for Alyssa to see her new classroom, take her school supplies, etc., next week. I CANNOT believe my baby is starting preschool. I know it's only a part-time 3 year old class, not like 4 or 5K, but still...my baby's starting school :( On the other hand, I am so excited for her b/c I know she'll fit right in and LOVE all of her new friends and new experiences! I'm also looking forward to having time alone with Blakely. That's the other thing that's got me feeling a little down today. She's already almost a month old, and I don't feel like I know her at all. With Alyssa, I felt that mother/daughter bond almost immediately, definitely before we left the hospital to come home with her (only 3 days old). But with Blakely and the jaundice issues she had, I didn't get to see her much in the hospital and when I did have her we were so focused on nursing (fast and furious style before they came back to take her again) that I never really had time to bond with her. Once we were home, I had to dive back into our life so quickly, that I still don't feel like I know my new daughter well at all. Don't get me wrong, I love her and am feeling that bond grow everyday, but it's just much different than when I had Alyssa. I guess I just didn't expect it to be this way and now I've got "mom guilt" b/c she's already 3 weeks old and I don't feel the bond with her that I want to. Makes me look forward to my sweet firstborn starting school - even though I'm sad about it too. It's crazy - I cry about it one minute and the next I'm wishing she'd already started school...How long until my hormones level out again?!?!